“Holy Sh*t” good! Regular Price movies are must sees on a big screen, with THX sound and a crowd of fellow movie lovers. They’re fresh, unique and exciting. The story ideas and cinematic execution usually revolutionize the art.

Average. Rental Worthy movies aren’t special enough to see at the multiplex. They’ve been done before and should be TV movies but are being marketing to the big screen probably because an A-List star or director are involved.

Don’t have your own apartment to experience sexy time desires? No car? Bus too crowded? The next best thing is a PT rated movie. You don’t have to pay attention to the story and it’s loud enough to cover up moans. Good Luck!

HF movies don’t have much going for them in terms of cinematic quality, but they do have hot pieces of ass! Male or female these people look great on a 70 foot screen. T&A, washboard stomachs or big biceps, these hotties deliver.

S&M movies don’t hide the fact that they’re going to be a total waste of lifetime. Therefore, if you go to it, you’re voluntarily punishing yourself; if you sit through it, you’re enjoying that pain and have only yourself to blame.

TMPC does not support the use of perception altering substances, but let’s get real, when a quirky enough movie is released, people are going to trip out for added effect.

GTFOH movies leave us wondering, “How and why the fu*k did this get made?” The story ideas are beyond intelligence insulting, the casting obviously decided in a boardroom and the marketing is condescending.

WON movies are desperately looking for Academy Award attention. Every aspect is too measured: lighting, acting, directing, editing, etc. It’s like a computer spat out a formula for the perfect Oscar winner.

SOF movies have the same jokes you’ve been laughing at since you were old enough to understand reruns of I Love Lucy.

GP movies are unintentionally bad. Usually everyone involved is trying their best but somehow doing their worst. Critical condemnation occurs publically, audience viewing occurs privately.

NET movies are decent enough ideas for the big screen, but it’s evident that the filmmakers are phoning it in. Instead of breaking new boundries these movies stick to the tried and true formulas.

KNP movies wrap kids around their pied piper fingers and puppet them to bother mom and dad to take them to see a movie over and over.

TLTL movies are good ideas that have already been made in a good enough way that yet another movie about he same topic/story has little flare or interest left.

CLS movies star actors whose careers are flatlining. In order to stay alive they are forced to make any movie that 1) pays them and 2) helps them stay in the public consciousness.

NB movies have major potential to push boundaries but instead squander the opportunites by playing it safe.

SMNS movies can’t hold up to the scrutiny of a 4th grader’s logic. They stretch the audience’s suspension of disbelief too far and try to get away with it by pretending everything is okay.

SI movies blow your everyday mind. They take ordinary and make it extraordinary. They take “what is” and turn it into “what can be” or “what isn’t...yet”.

FM has safe subject matter that won’t shatter the bubble of childhood innocence for the kids who see it. Also, parents won’t have to worry about answers uncomfortable questions they still may not have the answers to.

BSVOTVS movies are popular TV shows brought to the big screen mainly due to fan demand and market research that indicates a profitable return for the production company.

HYC movies have a message to convey about something important to basic humanity and hope that you’ll care enough to listen to this message and take action to do something about it.

TEIGS movies set themselves up for long term failure in order to have short term gain. They twist and turn to keep the audience guessing until the very end when all the strings of curiosity fail to knot together cohesively.

NAGFDM movies have subject matter that doesn’t jive with the nature of a first date. While your deciding if you’ll let him get to second base while he’s trying for home is not the time to see movies that weigh heavy on the soul.

RAL movies bathe in the pleasure and pain of relationship turmoil. The why and how of meeting, getting along and staying together is pondered endlessly with wit, laughs, screams and tears.

RL movies take the recent past and make popular things back then hip again in the here and now. They also provide bittersweet nostalgia.

SL movies have secrets, deception, trust, betrayal, love, manipulation, ulterior motives, tension and a little action here and there.

C&RL movies deal with cinema’s oldest conflict: good guys vs. bad guys. Usually police officers battling various criminals: bank robbers, drug dealers and or mobsters.

DOCL movies are the original Reality TV. But, instead of exploiting, they have integrity, standards and respect for the people profiled and featured.

QFDL movies deal with family strife in an eccentic manner. Prepare for dysfuntional family members with peculiar habits, hobbies and emotoinal reactions to dramatic situations.

AL movies have tons of physical action. Gunfire, explosions, fist fights and chase sequences, it’s all that matters and it’s the reason the audience goes.

HL movies scare the sh*t out of audiences. Usually centering on a serial killers with supernatural powers or just twisted imaginations, the characters die gruesome deaths and audiences love to watch.

JHL movies scare audiences with creepy illogical images, errie silence, water and pale girls with long black hair. Psychological tension is favored over physical action.

UL movies set characters undergoing dramatic conflict in a corrupt or gang-ridden big city environment.

RCL movies don’t take love so seriously. Characters try to woo each other with romantic gestures that turn embarassing, akward and most importantly, funny.

ML movies are about characters casting spells. It can be wizards. witches or magicians, doesn’t matter. Just make things change after magic words are spoken and we’re happy.

CAL movies are completely computer generated.

FL movies have the mythological creatures, talking animals, sorta-kinda-human-like beings, royalty, quests, honor and good vs. evil seeking to control kingdoms and all that sh#t.

PTL movies get inside your head and whisper thoughts that disturb you. They make you paranoid, cause you to second guess your logic making you scared to think.

CINL movies are beautifully and responsibly photographed. Whatever the genre, they use lighting, camera movement and angles that enhance the storytelling.

SF is the simplest reason the audience will see a movie. It usually doesn’t have A-list actors, an A-director or even a sizable budget. It just has an interesting story and dedicated filmmakers who want to see it realized.

HF movies are all about horses galloping, neighing, pooping and even talking. Set at a racetrack, in the Wid West or on a private ranch where a misunderstood child will befriend it. Doesn’t matter. We just want horses!

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