Because the idea sucks ass, insults intelligence and pisses on the audience’s trust in the quality control of the movie process.
Because Dane Cook wants to become Employee of the Month (EOTM) so he can bang Jessica Simpson who only bangs guys that are EOTM?! Now that’s a girl with standards! Bring her home to mom!
Because Jessica Simpson isn’t wearing Dasiy Dukes.
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because it’s the same sh*t over and over! Wild guess here: group of really good looking late-teen early-twenty year olds on a road trip to Hollywood to audition for some CW show about adolescent agnst take a turn down an not-so-main-street in one of the red states and get tortured by cannibalistic yokel locals with chainsaws, dentures and fleshmasks.
Because if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all done a lot better.
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because it’s the same sh*t over and over! Wild guess here: a cursed person on the verge of dying tells someone they love, “don’t go in that house.” They go anyways and start to experience all the drawn out, yawn-fest spooky slow J-Horror scares of the original movie: A pale little boy, a woman with long black hair who walks down the stairs on her hands and a ton of out-of-the-corner-of-your-eye errieness.
Because if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because this movie just came out last year when it was called Capote! Yeah, it was nominated for Best Picture and won for Best Actor.
Because it can’t be that different. Yes it has a ton of well known actors - other than the guy who plays Capote - but that’s it.
Because the filmmakers missed the ball. This should have been released at the same time as Capote; it’s way too after the fact.
Because we can wait for video.
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because it’s produced by World Wrestling Entertainment.
Because it stars a wrestler.
Because this movie - and even the poster - looks like it came from a long lost script, circa 1992, that was written for Jean Claude Van Damme.
Because this should have been straight to video.
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because it’s quirky for quirkiness sake: Cool, his shrink adopts him! 5 hours of therapy a day? That’s eccentric! Smashing a whole in the ceiling: unpredicatble!
Because it’s the bastard menage a trios offspring of American Beauty, Everything is Illuminated and The Royal Tannenbalms.
Because no one is running with scissors anywhere in the preview!
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THE RATINGS
WHY IT’S UNWORTHY
Because it’s the same sh*t again: A group of people who take life for granted are brought together. They get a message from a reject porcelien doll with a lumberjack voice that they will all die horrible, gruesome deaths unless they do x, y and z. There is on person that ties them all together and a “twist”
ending where Mr. Saw or one of his employees has been among them the entire time!
