7th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Remember how bad ass Kung Fu Hustle was? Well, director Stephen Chow combines Gremlins with Gazoo from The Flintstones. Dad buys son a mysterious pet, son takes pet to school, sh*t goes crazy -in a good you-wanna-watch way.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

So Raven Symone and her girlfriends want to go on a road trip to check out different colleges. But, things get wacky in a safe-cute-Disney-kind-of-way when her overprotective dad tags along a.k.a. Martin Lawrence.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

A single guy’s friend sets him up on a date with an Italian girl, but, for some reason, she only dates Italian guys...and he ain’t. So, he needs a crash course in how to “act” Italian. Get ready for a lot of Mafia Godfather/Goodfellas jokes. Spaghetti also makes an apperance.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Miss Pettigrew gets a new job as an assistant to a young actress who leads a wild lifestyle, well, as wild as London 1939 gets. Along the way they lust for boys and learn stuff about life.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Teenage skateboarding dude is involved in the death of a security guard. Some Greek Tragedy sh*t ensues. Directed by Gus Van Sant, which is good, even though we’re still forgiving him for his shot-for-shot remake of Psycho.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

The dude who made Independence Day AND Godzilla (yes, we didn’t forget Ronald) makes this blockbuster caveman version of Apocalypto meets Jurassic Park.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Is Jason Statham in every action movie nowadays? Here, a hot girl tells him about a bank heist that can’t go wrong - but, come on, it’s a movie, sh*t has to hit the fan. So it does - money isn’t the only thing in the vault and everyone wants it.

14th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Because we want more virus-turing-people-into-monsters stories. This one has the “Reaper virus” that gets loose in a city so an ass kicking team of B-List actors are called in to handle the crisis.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Remember that scene in Clockwork Orange where the punks brake in an terrorize the older guy and his young wife? Well, imagine that, for the entire 90 minutes, except here it’s a vacationing family.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

A Dr. Suess adaptaion with Jim Carrey AND Steve Carrel doing the voices - box office gold! The story? An elephant hears dust talk. Is he going crazy or are there really, really, really small creatures that need his help?

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

UFC is hot right now, so are the 80’s. How about a Karate Kid meets UFC flick? Here it is: Some dude doesn’t fit in, needs to prove himself, get the girl, defeat a bully - did we miss anything?

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Get this: It’s directed by Bill Maher, yes, from Politically Incorrect. It stars Charilze Theron, Dennis Hopper and Woody Harrelson and deals with girl coming to terms with her mother abandoning her. Such a strange combo of factors might make it worthy of checking out.

21st

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Directed by Jason “George Costanza” Alexander, a guys wants to meet Donald Sutherland (yeah, Jack Bauer’s dad). So him and his buddy take a road trip to Montreal, where he’s known to eat at this one restaurant.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Guess Will Farrell wasn’t available for this one. Two kids, picked on at school, hire an older guy to kick the bully’s ass. But, the hired help has his own plans. Comedy ensues.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Tyler Perry must be the busiest man in show biz. Here he brings Madea back for a tale about the dysfunctions and importance of family. We’ll see if it can outdo Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

You’ve seen Step up 2, How She Move, Rize and Breakin’2: Electric Boogaloo - get ready for Planet B-Boy - prepare for breakdancing madness.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

J-Horror has made us afraid of Cell Phones, videotapes, newspapers, toasters...okay, not yet, but give it a year. Here, it’s pictures. A couple sees some ghostly images in their photos, decide to investigate and get cursed.

28th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Two heist movies in one month! Here, it’s set in swinging 60’s London. Demi Moore tells Michael Cane the should steal diamonds.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Buffy’s husband and brother-in-law get into a car accident that puts them into comas (yes, both of them). The brother-in-law wakes up and claims he’s her husband. She freaked and needs answers.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

David “friends” Schwimmer directs Shawn of the Dead guy in this this funny jokes movie about a dude who enters a marathon to prove to his ex that he’s worthy of a second chance. Running related comedy abounds.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Another let’s-spoof-blockbusters-movie. This time it’s one of the writers of Scary Movie 4 lampooning Spiderman. Anyone else tired of these cliche jokefests?

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Ryan Phillippee is a soldier just back from Iraq, restarting his life when he gets oders to go back. He’s not too happy and fights to stay at home.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Kevin Spacey is a math teacher that takes his students on field trips - to Vegas! Why? So they can count cards and win big cash. It’s like E!True Hollywood Story meets Oceans 11 starring M.I.T. nerds cause it’s based on a true story!