DUD DATE (ABOUT AS CREATIVE AND ENTERTAINING AS THIS TIRED PLAY ON WORDS)

Due Date is the fluffer keeping our box office dollars hard in between The Hangover and The Hangover 2.

The true inspiration for its creation is obvious if we analyze a few movie posters (Warning Sign #11: The poster looks too much like another movie’s poster, which was a box office success).

The Hangover was basically Old School 2: Vegas Road Trip and no one noticed, or cared, about that cinematic sleight of hand. Both are funny and more impressively, different and inspired in their own way. Everything is influencing everything else anyways, so the critics can suck it when they say this is a rip off of that or this, right? And, if the marketing is basically manipulation of memory and the feelings associated to those recollections overriding the logic don’t-pay-for-this-movie-it-doesn’t-look-that-good center of the brain with rationale inhibiting nostalgia fueled emotions, so what? Ever try selling a motion picture? It’s hard as F.

Too bad most of the creativity was expended during the pre and post and not on the pro-duction, but more on that in a sec.

What’s next for the poster? THE BABY! That sh*t was funny as hell! Definitely need a new cute we’re-gonna-do-stuff-that-you’ve-never-seen-and-you’ll-laugh-from-OMG-did-that-just-happen-I-can’t-believe-it comedy device.

What did 1930’s comedy pioneer Preston Sturges say about box office success? Oh, yeah, “A pretty girl is better than a plain one. A leg is better than an arm. A bedroom is better than a living room. An arrival is better that a departure. A birth is better than a death. A chase is better than a chat. A dog is better than a landscape. A kitten is better than a dog. A baby is better than a kitten. A kiss is better than a baby. A pratfall is better than anything.”

A kitten is better than a dog? I think that’s a little out dated Preston, no offense, but when’s the last time a kitten did anything funn...hold on, someone just e-mailed me this hilarious YouTube video of a cat falling off a TV....oh snap, I just got owned....never question Preston Sturges.

Okay, but there’s gotta be some weed jokes, and dogs look funnier when they’re stoned! Yeah Preston, take that yo! Let’s amend that quote to include, “A dog baked off some hardcore skunk is better than a kitten.” That should go before, “A baby is better than a kitten,” cause an animal will never be better than a baby, no matter how many drugs it takes, except maybe that dog in There’s Something About Mary...that mofo was crazy funny.

So a dog, yeah, but you know what, let’s put that I’ve-been-injured-feel-sorry-for-me-radar-dish-on! Yeah! Now everyone is gonna be like, “Yo, I was wondering how the dude’s hand got all messed up, but now, NOW I’m wondering how that cute ass innocent dog got all F’d up. I gotta see this movie!”

There’s the uptight businessman impatient jerk and the I-can’t-help-irritating-you-it’s-just-the-way-I-am goof-master-of-unintentional-disaster characters. They’re side by side, Martin/Jr. to the right of Candy/Galifanakis. John/Zack are smiling unaware of the discomfort they’re causing the “adult” character.

Now throw in Todd Phillip’s I’ve-made-some-of-your-favorite-comedies-reputation (Warning Sign #7: The marketing whores out ‘from the director of’) and add a cool tagline? “Leave your comfort zone”....good enough. Maybe, “Buckle up” would’ve been better? Or, how about just, “Hand it over audience....yeah, regular price, that’s right.”

Okay, so we’re being Pied Pipered into seeing it. What can we expect content wise? (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!)

The Funny Man/Straight Man comedy dynamic has been made famous by Laurel and Hardy, Hope and Crosby, Martin and Lewis, Kirk and Spock, Sanford and Son, Larry and Balki, Hilton and Richie, Corey and Corey (R.I.P., Archie’s forever yo) and Cain and Palin.

It’s a recipe for built-in laughs. In cinema the “road trip” picture is a perfect situation for the two to meet, get on each others nerves, hilarious disaster to ensue and even, and if the filmmaker is ambitious and possesses even a limited depth of humanity in his artistic soul, have the characters undergo an internal change.

Here, it’s important to recognize which chord of comedy is being strummed. Due Date is selling itself as Manolescent/Gross Outness, but is actually more Heart/Fart.

And, probably an unspoken subtext of the movie was Steve’s wife being Glenn Close Fatal Attraction unstable, cause every time she was in a scene she had this look of, “I’m going to Romeo and Juliet myself if you’re not home in time to cut the turkey.” There’s definitely some unhealthy enabling/dependency going on there. If anyone did make a sequel, it would be a drama titled Divorce, Therapy and Prozac.

I bring all this up because the spirit of John Hughes might have Ghosted Todd Philips during the filming.

Judd Apatow is probably the closest Hughes-influenced comedy writer/director/producer working today. Breakfast Club, Uncle Buck, Sixteen Candles and really all of Hughes’ work have an integrity, respect and joyfulness that shapes the characters and affects the audience. The 40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up and Funny People all follow in this Hughes tradition mixed with Gen-X sensibilities.

It’s never funny for funny’s sake. The humanity comes before hilarity, and paradoxically, the hilarity exists BECAUSE of the humanity.

Phillips’ previous work, while over the top at times, holds true, mostly, to this purist comedy ideal: comedy comes from truth.

Here in Chi-Town there’s an improv school known as IO short for Improv Olympic, it, along with other training centers like The Second City and The Annoyance Theatre approach the art of make-sh*t-up-on-the-spot using that philosophy. I mention IO because the co-founder’s first book on improv is titled Truth in Comedy.

Basically, this boils down to: the WHAT isn’t important, it’s the WHO that matters.

Let’s imagine some well known movie characters: John McLane from Die Hard and put him in a Paul Blart’s mall. The comedy is now an action movie. How about Paul Blart? Put him in The Nakatomi Building, the action movie setting now becomes a comedy because of the person, because of the reactions created by this unique personality.

Should John Hughes have been credited as co-director?

The most obvious, most glaring, most hi-it’s-me-John-Hughes-subtly-communicating-my-afterlife-presence-to-you-movie-lovers-in-the-earthly-realm-I’m-totally-not-suppose-to-be-doing-this-cause-it’s-against-the-rules-could-get-me-put-in-dentention-a.k.a.-limbo-but-hey-what-do-I-care-doesn’t-the-big-man-know-I-made-Breakfast-Club-and Ferris-Bueller’s-Day-Off-of-course-I’m-gonna-rebel-against-my-parental-figure moment occurs just after the second act begins.

The Odd Couple, after getting beat up by Danny McBride in a wheelchair (a cheap laugh), park at a rest stop. In the bathroom Peter can’t hold his frustrations back, and unleashes on Ethan, basically telling him everything he hates about him. Then, then, then...it’s get F’n brilliant.

Ethan is going to L.A. to become an actor. Obviously, to any “normal” semi-aware individual this “dream” seems like more of a delusion since Ethan isn’t all that 1) talented 2) stable and 3) knowledgeable. There’s obviously some traumatic-defense-mechanism-reason he’s chosen to live in the world of fantasy than reality, much like Renee Zellweger’s character in Nurse Betty - after seeing her husband murdered (yes, it’s a comedy) she post-traumatic stress disorders a false reality/personality in order to protect her fragile sanity.

So, wanting to really hurt Ethan - who seems too stupid to be hurt by subtle logical insults - Peter puts him to the acting test: he asks him to improv various characters in various situations. The results are HILARIOUS!

Ethan can’t keep up with the requests, he doesn’t have the range of character - every one is basically the same - and he’s not quick-witted, every “different” character says the same thing until...until Peter hits Ethan in his gut, in his soul. Until Peter brings Ethan back to reality for a play-this-clip-at-the-Oscars moment.

Peter directs, “You’re wife is calling to divorce you. You’re still a head coach trying to motivate your team down 30 points at halftime, go!”

The laughs keep coming, Ethan is clueless until he starts feeling, starts getting real, until...the truth comes out.

It’s perfect. It’s everything movies can be when they’re based in character and live in the moment. We get Ethan’s backstory in the most powerful, dramatic and engaging way possible - out of conflict birthed from emotion and truth. His dad did die, his wife did divorce him, he’s all alone.

That moment is VERY similar but much more powerful to the one in Planes, Trains and Automobiles when Neal unleashes his hate on Del in the motel room and Del responds, “I like who I am....” It’s one of Candy’s best dramatic moments and it’s what Hughes was a master of: finding the truth in us, putting it into fictional character form and then connecting the two in the theater making it seem like a happy accident realization discovered by the audience.

One of the great moments of The Breakfast Club is when the high school archetypes let’s down their guards and reveal why they’re in Saturday detention along with how it affects them. It what makes the shenanigans mean something more than just goofing around.

John Hughes somehow directed that moment in Due Date.

And he may have held control over Phillips for the next one because the characters, affected by the reality of the previous scene, step outside near the soda machine. Oh! And it’s raining outside! Not very subtle, maybe borderline tired, but great that in a comedy - a genre that, like Rodney Dangerfield, get’s no respect - the external world is a representation of the character’s internal world.

This was a cathartic moment, a bonding moment, a cleansing moment and the filmmaking here captured and enhanced it optimally.

Now Peter decides to share some truth. This moment is in the preview. He talks about how his dad left him when he was nine years old and he never saw him again. And then...Ethan starts laughing. And...it’s funny!

Why? Because we BELIEVE Ethan’s character would do that. It feels right, honest and congruent with the human being that’s been established. And that’s the key. The movie has established it’s tone, style and flavor by now. It’s not Looney Tunes, it’s not Gross Out, it’s Heart/Fart.

There’s one guideline to follow from each moment forward, from this point on, for this integrity to continue: characters must FEEL and be AFFECTED BY what happens when they act accordingly with the TRUTH of their personalities. The WHO must create the WHAT.

Ethan is most developed in this area. Most likely it’s because the filmmakers thought, “This dude has strange reactions to everything, let’s try to justify them.” His backstory deals with the death of his father, who loved to watch Two and a Half Men with him - wow, there really is a strong connection to Nurse Betty here - and after his cremation, Ethan carries around his father’s remains in a coffee can (not so subtle product placement). The is a symbol of his refusal to let go. That’s the internal journey he’s on. Physically he’s moving to a new place, as a result of that travel, he’ll move spiritually somewhere new.

Peter’s lack of development is the true problem of the movie.

Who is Peter? What motivates him? What is his journey? What is in HIS metaphoric coffee can?

He doesn’t have one. And it’s because of that neglected characterization that his actions seemed forced, his reactions inconsistent and the resulting interactions with Ethan feel emotionally empty and comedically pornographic - the character’s actions take place because he knows he’s being watched by an audience wanting to laugh. It’s a violation of the Law of Comedy - funny comes from truth, from integrity, not forced this-is-gonna-be-funny-go-for-the-joke-while-destorying-the-emotional-balance-of-the-relationship-between-the-characters wackiness.

Let’s do a quick script doctoring for Peter and add some depth which will in turn help inform his reactions. Peter is about to have a child. For the first time he’ll be a father. He hasn’t had much of a role model of his own, since, as mentioned in the rest stop scene, Peter revealed his father left him and his mother when he was nine years old - revealed in heartbreaking detail.

Maybe he’s afraid of becoming like his father. And, to go along with Todd Phillips’ themes as a filmmaker, maybe there’s an element of the I-don’t-want-to-grow-up-yet manolescence complex going on for Peter (Pan). Maybe he’s scared of being a dad. Maybe he doesn’t want the responsibility? Maybe the pregnancy was an accident? Or, the marriage been on the rocks and they felt a baby was a way to bring them closer?

Whatever the choice, it should create drama, conflict and theme - a chance for change. Most importantly, these established beliefs, tensions and inner realities will form a roadmap that will guide his decision making. It could also organically create comedy based in what’s going on inside of him. Does he want to go find his father? Does he want to get wild and crazy before the next eighteen years of his life are devoted to raising a sane productive addition to society?

Peter’s reaction is to try and ignore it, which is mildly funny at first, and according to his established character, accurate enough, but after a minute the audience starts to wonder, “Okay dude, do something! Have a strong character based reaction to this!” Which he doesn’t. Cut to: the next morning, Ethan well rested gets out of the car to take a shower and Peter, hunched over, having slept outside all night, wakes up and...has no emotional reaction that will motivate his next action.

What happens is that Peter unloads all of Ethan’s stuff, including the dog, and steals it. Then as he’s driving he realizes the coffee can with the ashes are still in the car. This makes his pull over, have a battle with his conscience, and eventually turns back around. It’s not funny and feels disconnected from the dramatic momentum created in the previous four scenes.

This is where many screenplays and movies born from those under-rewritten scripts go wrong.

Here we have the beginning of Act II, where the established structure of Act I comes together and creates conflict moving forward. If any of the dramatic elements suffer from creative poverty and malnourishment then symptoms of dramatic failure will arise. It’s trajectory. Act I is aiming the cannons, alining the gun sight; wherever it’s pointed, that’s where whatever you fire is gonna end up.

If we go back to the moment in the car, that’s when Peter needs to react stronger. Some dude is exposing himself, it’s time to have a strong response! If it’s a true, genuine, this-is-my-personality response, the audience will feel it’s right and probably laugh.

When Peter steals the car, we’re quiet and thinking, “Why is he doing this? I don’t buy it.” Make it emotionally based. Again, if Peter is trying to avoid his parenthood, or scared of it, he’d take the car so no one would be there trying to make him go to L.A. Or, if he wants to get to his wife’s birth, maybe she calls him in a state of emergency and he panics and takes off.

This keeps going until a predictable resolution is reached with no comedic/dramatic climax. Plenty of comedies do a great job of bringing the pieces together for a hug gong-crashing finale. Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Naked Gun and countless other classics have proven it can and should be done for maximum audience satisfaction.

Though, I do have to give credit and say the ending with Ethan getting a role on Two and a Half Men is pretty funny and makes perfect sense for that character’s journey from an external point of view. From an internal perspective Ethan also completes his journey. Peter, in a kindhearted moment, takes the detour to the Grand Canyon where Ethan can let go of his father, dumping the ashes in a real beautifully framed shot, out into the vastness. The success of Ethan’s inner and outer quest reveals the absence of both for Peter.

The reason movies like Trading Places, 48 Hours, Grumpy Old Men, Midnight Run, Lethal Weapon and other “buddy” comedies work is that each character is three-dimensional.

As mentioned earlier, when it comes to comedy, it’s different strokes for different folks. The key is establishing WHICH kind of funny we should be expecting. I’m gonna argue that unless it’s spoof, the characters need to be developed. Take a character that knocks on stranger’s doors every Sunday to spread the word of God, carrying The Bible and dressed professionally and it’s a drama. But now replace the basis of their faith with a stack of X-Men comics, have them dressed like Professor X but KEEP the serious I’m-trying-to-save-your-soul-attitude and it’s a comedy.

In good comedies funny people don’t know their being funny. They saying things with sincerity. Comedy Porn is when you can hear the director as ventriloquist, with their hand up the character’s ass moving their mouth in a this-is-funny-say-this-even-if-it-doesn’t-make-sense-for-your-character kind of way.

Todd Phillips’ non-documentary directorial debut was Road Trip. By now he’s mastered the swooping overhead shots of the car, the off in the distance wide shots, the camera on the side of the car POV of the wheels on the road. This seems like a Cliff’s Notes effort. A “get me over” pitch in baseball when the pitcher just wants to throw an easy strike, a pitch that gets hit for a home run usually, one that here, we the audience recognize and reject saying, “Get that weak sh*t outta here.”

Zack does a fine job creating a different enough character from The Hangover so that it feels like he’s putting in some thespian effort. Downey Jr. is quick and slick as usual. Phillips is competent. It’s assembly-lined efficently and marketed well enough so that it’ll make it’s $50 million budget back, but there’s no way it’ll be The Hangover crazy successful.

It really could have been an update of a classic idea. It could have related to who we are today. It could have if it had been inspired and created with passion. But in the end, Due Date is a test tube baby, created by the cold science of technique and stats instead of the messy old fashioned method fueled by the love, passion and joy of artistic/creative birth.

Slow, simple and everyday, Mr. Bean, like Charlie Chaplin, never forces it.

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