4th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Directed by and starring George Clooney along with Jim from The Office as they spend their time playing roughneck 1925 football and/or fighting over Renee Zellweger.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

The poster is pretty steamy and the title sounds like late 70’s Euro-porn, but it’s just the latest from Wong Kar Wai, the master of Blue Balls Romantic Cinema: characters searching for love. Here, Norah Jones, yes, the singer, sets out to find love on route 66.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Jodie Foster and King Leonidas star here, in what should have been called, Peter Pan for the female demographic - Patrica Pan. Here, Never Neverland a.k.a. Nim’s Island is where Nim’s father goes missing so people have to go find him.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

This guy is gonna get married until he gets an e-mail that has a list of all the women he’s slept with and is going to sleep with! He tries to discover who sent the list while boning the girls on it.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Martin Scorsese and the Rolling Stones. Nuff said.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Vacationing twenty-somethings discover “The Ruins” and find some monster/bug/weed/evil spirit thing that wants to kill them. Same sh*t, different name and actors.

9th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

A documentary about a band of elderly people that rock out singing songs you’d never expect. You know you’re gonna feel good and cry no matter how cynical your are.

11th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

A remake of the 1980 slasher flick of the same name. Same sh*t, different actors.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Family comedy drama about smart people doing dumb things because their not in touch with their emotions. Look for Juno to continue her acid tongue routine and some healing at the end.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Take Training Day, put Neo in it and add a little New Jack City maybe some elements of The Wire and viola! Keanu is a bad ass cop trying to clear his name.

18th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Al Pacino is a professor that gets poisoned and has...88 minutes to live! Has that been done before? Yeah, DOA and Nick of Time. It’s Pacino, so it might be worth it to see him do his thing.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Judd Apatow continues his superhuman creative output with this comedy about a dorky guy trying to forget about a girl only to discover she’s at the same vacation spot - and she brought her new boyfriend. Let’s have faith in Judd that it’s not as cliche as it sounds.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Karate Kid meets Never Ending Story in this fantasy about a 21st century kid that gets transported back to The Forbidden Kingdom! All you really need to know is - Jackie Chan AND Jet Li in the same movie!

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Super Size Me creator Morgan Spurlock takes his documentary comedy skills in search of the most wanted man in America.

25th

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Tina Fey didn’t write this one, so be warned. Tina plays a business woman who can’t have kids, so she needs some woman to make one for her. She finds Larry the Cable Guy’s sister and wackiness ensues.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Wolverine takes Obi-wan to an underground sex club. The girl they get involved with goes missing, Now Obi-wan is a suspect and Wolverine might not be a friend after all. Sort of like 1990’s Bad Influence.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

The title pretty much says it all. Cheech and Chong 2.0 are back for another weed/girls related adventure. And so is Doogie Howser.